What to Expect When Starting Therapy: From Consultation to First Session
Starting therapy often begins long before the first session. It might start with a question, a Google search, or a quiet realization that something in your life doesn’t feel sustainable anymore.
If you’ve been considering therapy but feel unsure about what the process actually looks like, you’re not alone. Many people wonder:
How do I find the right therapist?
What happens in a consultation?
How is that different from the first session?
This post walks you through the early steps of therapy — from the initial consultation to the first session — so you can approach the process feeling more informed, grounded, and supported.
The Free Consultation: Getting a Feel for the Relationship
Many therapists offer a free consultation as a first step. This is not therapy yet — it’s a conversation to explore whether working together feels like a good fit.
Research consistently shows that the relationship between client and therapist is one of the most important factors in positive therapy outcomes. Feeling safe, understood, and supported matters.
A consultation is a commitment-free space where you can meet the therapist and notice how you feel in their presence. It is absolutely okay — and encouraged — to book consultations with more than one therapist to see who you feel most comfortable with.
During a consultation, you might:
Share what’s bringing you to therapy at a general level
Ask questions about the therapist’s approach, experience, and values
Get a sense of how it feels to talk to this person
Notice whether you feel heard, respected, and at ease
You don’t need to disclose everything or go into deep emotional detail. The consultation is about connection and clarity, not pressure or commitment.
Therapy works best when the relationship feels safe. This step allows both you and the therapist to decide whether moving forward together feels right.
Questions You Might Ask During a Consultation
Think of the consultation as an opportunity to explore fit. You are allowed to ask the questions that matter most to you as you consider starting therapy.
Some examples include:
Can you tell me about your experience working with concerns like mine (e.g., burnout, people-pleasing, perfectionism, depression)?
What therapeutic approaches or modalities do you tend to use most?
Do you offer any practices or reflection between sessions?
How do you and your clients typically understand or track progress in therapy?
There are no “right” questions — only the ones that help you feel more confident and supported in your decision.
The First Therapy Session: Going a Little Deeper
If you decide to move forward, the first therapy session is where the work begins to take shape.
In this session, your therapist may:
Invite you to share more about your experiences, stressors, history, memories, and environment
Explore how challenges show up emotionally and in your body
Begin noticing patterns, coping strategies, and strengths
Collaboratively start identifying goals for therapy
This is still a gentle process. You are not expected to share trauma or painful details before you’re ready.
Creating a Direction for Therapy
By the end of the first session (or shortly after), there is often more clarity around:
What you want to focus on in therapy
How therapy may support your goals
The pace and structure that feels right for you
Rather than a rigid plan, this becomes a shared understanding — one that can evolve as therapy unfolds.
“I Still Feel Hesitant”
That makes sense.
Therapy asks for vulnerability and courage. It may invite you to connect with emotions that have been pushed aside, to explore parts of yourself that had to adapt or stay small to survive, and to examine protective patterns that once helped but may no longer serve you.
It also asks you to trust someone new — and that can feel scary.
On the other side of that vulnerability, many people find healing, strength, deeper self-understanding, improved relationships, and a greater sense of safety in their own bodies. You are not expected to carry this alone. Therapists are trained to help hold the weight of big emotions with care, steadiness, and compassion.
As a therapist, creating a sense of safety in the therapy room is my number one priority. You will be met with gentleness, understanding, and respect — exactly where you are.
Ready to start?
Beginning therapy is not about becoming someone new. It’s about being supported as you are — in the midst of stress, burnout, transition, trauma, or uncertainty.
If you’re curious about therapy and would like a space to explore whether it feels like a good fit, I offer free consultations and individual therapy both in-person and online.
You can learn more about my services here.
